


be still my foolish heart

by Seafoamcake (Junmyeonderful)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Dancer Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, People being oblivious idiots, Photographer Suh Youngho | Johnny, helpful friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:21:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27499360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Junmyeonderful/pseuds/Seafoamcake
Summary: Johnny is used to longing, but Ten makes it a hundred times more difficult.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 27
Kudos: 93





	be still my foolish heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello folks! Glad you took time off your day to come read my fic! It is something I have been working on for a long time, but I only had time to develop it recently. It was heavily inspired by Love Talk by WayV, and it was supposed to be only a PWP, but it kind of got out of hand. 17k words later and it is still not done, but it's happening! 
> 
> I made a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6IgbAQpJOrIsZjLSDHBszT) to go with the fic, so give a listen! It's not a scene by scene playlist, just songs that I thought it fit the mood.
> 
> Title taken from a hozier song, but I only used the hozier fic title generator, so... yeah
> 
> Thank you so much to L, Baby L, J, A, R, A, A, M and so so so many others who cheered me on and helped me put this monster together. I coulnd't do it without you.

_Maybe that thing you said under your breath you mean it - Mean it - Gracie Abrams_

**November, 2019**

It’s easy, so easy for Johnny to fall into the familiar routine of hastily taking his and Ten’s clothes off, both of them too lost in each other to see where they’re going, walk blindly into the closest room, hoping it’s the right one. They fall onto the closest horizontal surface, this time being Ten’s bed, one on top of the other. One of them reaches for lube and condoms, wherever they are, and Johnny gets himself lost in the feeling of exploring the planes and curves of Ten’s body. He has done it dozens of times before, hundreds maybe, and yet, in times like this, it still feels like the first. 

Johnny touches Ten slowly, _reverently_ , starting from Ten’s ankle and trailing his fingers to the curve of his ass, raising goosebumps all over Ten’s skin. Johnny keeps his hands moving upwards, his lips following close, caressing Ten’s taut stomach and going all the way to his nipples, flickering them before putting his hand on either side of Ten’s head. 

“Hey there”, Ten smiles, raising his arms and wrapping them around Johnny’s neck, “took long enough to get here.”

“Why the rush? You seemed to enjoy me taking my time.”

“I did enjoy it”, Ten agrees easily, “but I missed your mouth”.

With that Ten pulls Johnny down, joining their mouths in a kiss that is both familiar and new. Johnny sinks into it, enjoying the closeness with Ten and, unable to help himself, he lets his hands roam around Ten’s body, pressing and squeezing the soft skin, making Ten moan into his mouth. Breaking the kiss, Johnny follows the graceful line of Ten’s jaw, down to his neck and collarbone, where he often likes to suck bruises. He knows Ten’s students are going to ask about it when Ten inevitably wears his favorite low collared shirts and, honestly, Johnny can’t force himself to care. He actually enjoys having Ten carrying something he has made. 

Johnny also enjoys the sounds Ten makes whenever they’re together like this. He catalogs them, saves them to his memory to play them whenever he’s alone in his apartment, his hand down his pants. Johnny likes to think he has already heard all possible sounds Ten makes, the soft sighs when trails his lips all over his skin, the hitch in his breath when he’s close to coming, the high pitch whines when he begs for Johnny to fuck him already, his whisper in Johnny’s ear the morning after, but over and over again Ten manages to surprise him. 

Just like right now, when Johnny thinks he is in control, but he should have known better. Whenever Ten is involved, Johnny never has any sort of control. In a surprising show of strength, Ten manages to roll Johnny over on the bed, putting himself over Johnny. It doesn’t matter how many times he’s lived this before, Johnny is still caught breathless. Ten’s slender body over his, his pale skin, the now dark hair falling gently over his bright eyes, the wicked smile he carries whenever he manages to catch Johnny off guard. Johnny loves everything about it.

Johnny raises his torso, caressing Ten thighs and waist, his neck and puts his thumb on Ten’s chin, angling his head down to reach his lips, to which Ten abides in good humor. In the middle of their kiss, Ten starts moving, little aborted movements at first, but getting bolder as his cock hardens. Johnny lowers his hands to Ten’s ass, squeezing hard and encouraging the movement, guiding Ten’s hips until their cocks align. Ten sighs into his mouth, burying his hands in Johnny’s hair, pulling gently, and Johnny feels it going straight to his already rock hard dick. It never takes too long for him to get hard when he’s with Ten. 

His right hand slides towards the cleft of Ten’s ass, rubbing and teasing the puckered skin slightly. Ten moans, moving against Johnny’s finger, not caring about the dryness.

“You don’t know how much I’ve missed this”, Ten says, pushing Johnny’s bangs out of his forehead, looking deeply into his eyes. He holds Johnny’s face between his hands, thumb pressing his full bottom lip and lips pecking his graceful cupid’s bow, and whispers, “how much I’ve missed you.”

Johnny lets his head fall on Ten’s shoulder, his finger no longer teasing Ten’s rim in order to embrace him, pressing Ten’s body against his. Johnny’s heart speeds to a point where he thinks it’s going to jump out of his chest and he wonders if Ten can feel it. Not his heart but his feelings, swirling and boiling just under the surface, threatening to spill over at any moment. Johnny breathes Ten’s scent in and holds him closer, tighter, not letting go. Johnny never wants to let go. 

“I really missed you too”, he whispers against Ten’s neck. He wishes he could say more because there’s so much more to say, but he holds it in, just like he did the first time they slept together and all the other times they have done the same thing over the years. 

“Then show me”, Ten’s voice is a warm whispery breath against Johnny’s temple, and he kisses his way down Johnny's ear, pressing his lips harder into the sensitive skin below it. “Show me how much you missed me”.

Johnny huffs a laugh, caressing Ten’s neck with the tip of his nose until he can kiss the hollow of his throat. He mouths at Ten’s neck and collarbones until they’re pinkish-red and goes lower, to Ten’s nipples, teases them with his tongue, which makes Ten let out an especially musical moan. Johnny inches his hand lower, grasping at Ten’s hardness and pumping it until Ten is keening. Johnny manages to flip them, so Ten is under him once again and he takes advantage of the position to slide their dicks together, making Ten moan deeply. Johnny swallows the tail end of the sound and reaches blindly for the lube, opening it one-handed.

Breaking the kiss, Johnny sits back on his ankles and stares. They’re mostly in the dark and the only source of light in the room comes from outside. The single sliver of bright moonlight falls over Ten’s body, making him look like he was carved out of the most expensive marble, beads of sweat making his skin glow, the planes and curves of his body made by the most attentive and loving hand of an artist. He doesn’t look real. For Johnny, sometimes he looks more like a fever-induced dream than reality, too beautiful to belong to this world. Johnny cannot believe that this person came to him that day and all the other days after that. Ten smiles up at him and Johnny feels the muscles around his ribcage contracting. He fights the urge to press his hand against his chest and, instead, pushes Ten’s thighs further apart. 

Johnny takes the now open bottle of lube and pours some on his fingers. It is cold, so Johnny warms it up before reaching for Ten’s entrance. “You’re… tight.”, Johnny whispers. His finger is only halfway in and Ten’s walls are already squeezing him, almost painfully. 

“It’s been a while”, Ten replies, his voice small.

“How long?”, his words come out in a murmur, his focus where his finger is slowly disappearing inside Ten’s warmth. 

Ten hesitates. “Three weeks,” he says at last, and when Johnny’s so taken aback he stops moving altogether. Coincidentally, Johnny was out of the country for work these past three weeks, before coming back and attending Ten's performance that same night. Johnny doesn’t dare to entertain the thought, but he can feel his chest expanding, a little overwhelmed under the implication of Ten’s words. Ten whines and moves against his finger and Johnny snaps out of his own head. 

“Were you waiting for me?”, as soon as the question leaves his lips, Johnny realizes he doesn’t want to hear the answer and doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to. He presses his finger deeper inside Ten, feeling his walls relaxing slowly, and brushes the tip against that spot that makes Ten tremble all over. Ten _keens_ , throwing his head back and exposing his neck, shining with drops of sweat, crystalline against his pale skin. A drop of precum falls slowly on his stomach and Johnny wants to follow that drop with his tongue and taste it, wrap his lips around Ten’s cock, and watch him fall apart slowly, only for his eyes to see. Johnny pulls himself to the present moment. They’ll have enough time for that later. Maybe.

“Give me more”, Ten says and Johnny is quick to abide, grabbing more lube and adding one more finger. After that, they fall into that familiar rhythm. Johnny opens Ten with his fingers, his own hard cock leaking steadily over Ten’s sheets, Ten’s breathy moans, and his own heavy breathing. (Even with the familiarity, this time Johnny feels that there’s something different. He can’t say exactly what it is, but there’s a tension in the air, faint, but persistent, like unspoken words, caught between breaths).

“That’s good enough”, Ten’s voice is low and hoarse. He extends his arms, reaching for Johnny’s hand, the one that’s supporting his leg, and Ten closes his fingers around Johnny’s. “I need you inside me.”

Johnny knows exactly what he means, but the following words are stronger than him. “I am inside you.” and wiggles the now three fingers inside Ten. Ten glares and tries to kick him, but he’s not fast enough and Johnny manages to grab his leg and hold it against his side so that Ten doesn't try to kick him again. “Behave”, he laughs. Even with three fingers inside him, Ten still manages to give him a devilish smile, bites his plush lower lip seductively, and spreads his toned thighs further. The action makes Johnny’s dick twitch painfully and another burst of precum leaks from the swollen tip, joining the mess on the bed. 

“Make me”, Ten whispers. 

Johnny is going to make him behave alright. He takes his fingers out of Ten and holds him in place with that same hand while he opens the condom with his dry hand and puts it on carefully. He's so hard it hurts and he feels like the slightest touch can send him over the edge. That's the same reason he lubes himself up quickly and lines his cock with Ten's entrance. Ten holds his breath, trembling, his muscles tensing under the anticipation of having Johnny's cock inside him. From his higher position, Johnny can see Ten's entrance closing around nothing, waiting.

The first breach, the first after three weeks, is tight. Ten is still very tight even with Johnny's careful preparation, his body is taut, like the string of an instrument, strained to the point of breaking and he squeezes the head of Johnny's cock so hard Johnny has to hold himself back from coming. He manages to do so by thinking about Ten's warmth and how he wants to feel it envelop him entirely, how he wants to come inside Ten, his body covering Ten's smaller one and Ten's whines whispered in his ear. Johnny takes a deep breath, "Behave or you won't get dicked the way you want", he manages to say, at last.

Ten laughs openly, the breath he was holding punching out of his lungs with the sudden change of atmosphere. The tension hovering over them breaks, leaving only the two of them and the blanket of intimacy, that for some reason was missing. “You wouldn’t dare. You’re so hard that if I breathe next your dick you’re going to come”, Ten’s voice is teasing and amused, and the words trigger a laugh out of Johnny and he feels his shoulders lighten, an unspeakable weight lifting and fading along with the last puffed giggle. 

“That was one time and I would appreciate it if you stopped bringing it up”, Johnny complains, a smile on his lips.

Ten’s own smile is infectious, seeping through the cracks of Johnny’s defenses and making itself comfortable inside him. It is bright, almost _blinding_ its own energy source, lighting Johnny up from inside out and making it impossible for him to see anything else. From the first day Ten smiled at him, he knew he was lost. “I hate you”, Johnny says, finally, which also makes Ten giggle. 

“Yeah, right. I happen to be a really close acquaintance with someone who tells me otherwise. He spilled your stuff all over me more than once.”

Johnny blinks, “Are you serious?”

“Very!”, he claims, though his sly grin says otherwise. “We got really close, you know? I think Little John has feelings for me or something because he gets all excited whenever I’m around.”

“Please, tell me you’re not talking about my dick.”

“Well, if it fits-”

Johnny shuts him up with his mouth, careful to not push himself inside further, as Ten is not is still not ready, but he can feel Ten’s smile against his lips. He loves to rile Johnny up like that and Johnny just goes with it because, well, what else can he do? “You’re a menace”, which makes Ten crackles and Johnny sigh. _Why am I so in love with you_ , he thinks.

He kisses Ten again, deeper this time, and carefully pushes in, swallowing all the sounds Ten makes until he bottoms out, his hips meeting Ten’s plush ass. Ten’s hands are everywhere, on Johnny’s nipples, on his arms, on his ass and, from there, Ten fingertips follow the path of Johnny’s spine to his neck and Johnny shivers. Ten buries his hands in Johnny’s hair and, in turn, Johnny buries his face on the crook of Ten’s neck, feeling overwhelmed. Johnny can’t think, can’t do anything but breathe with the way Ten is squeezing him.

Ten smells like sweat, make-up, and something else so distinctly _Ten_ that Johnny could never really tell what exactly it was. Johnny waits for Ten to adjust, inhaling his scent, feeling dizzy. Ten runs his fingers through Johnny’s hair, his chest rising and falling slowly and shivering slightly whenever Johnny releases a warm breath against his neck. 

Johnny raises his head and looks down at Ten, once again in awe at his beauty and having a hard time believing Ten is _his_ , at least for these fleeting hours. Johnny moves his hips, pulling out and pushing in slowly, and Ten arches his back, a sliver of silver moonlight falling over his chest. He wishes his memory was as good as his cameras so that he could look at this frame forever. The next time he pushes in, Ten meets him halfway and they easily fall into a rhythm, too lost in each other for any banter to happen. 

Their breathing and the sound of slapping skin are the only sounds in the room, and Johnny doesn't register anything else besides Ten’s melodies, and he catalogs every breath, every moan, every whisper for when this all ends. Because he's sure their time together will come to an end, eventually. It has been years and they never really put a name to whatever they have. Ten never bothered and Johnny was too afraid to ask. He never slept with anyone else but Ten, ever since they started this “arrangement” but he doesn't know if it's the same for Ten and he always felt he had no right to question it. 

Johnny feels hotter every time he pushes into Ten, getting closer to his climax. Ten is close too, and Johnny can feel it by the way Ten's insides squeeze his cock and the way Ten's own cock is straining against his stomach, the purple head bobbing with their movement, ready to burst. 

He moves one of his arms, that are on each side of Ten’s head, and finds Ten’s cock, hot and wet. He thumbs the head, making Ten keen and he is about to stroke it when Ten’s hand grabs his wrist to stop him. “Wait- don’t- ”, Ten gasps, “I want- I want to come only with you inside me.”

Feeling blindsided, Johnny ultimately complies, taking his hand away from Ten’s cock and instead of using it to get more leverage and increase the speed of his hips, hitting that spot inside Ten repeatedly until he can feel Ten’s walls fluttering around his cock. Ten is shivering under him, his breath leaving his lungs in short bursts, one hand holding onto the sheets, knuckles white. 

Johnny finds Ten free hand and, lacing their fingers, he drapes his body over Ten's, chest to chest, heart to heart. He buries himself deeper inside Ten, feeling Ten's legs wrap around his hips. Johnny caresses the curve of Ten's nose with his own, looking into the other man’s eyes which shine with their own light inside the unlit room. They carry so much emotion, but Johnny doesn't feel capable of translating them. (There are infinite possibilities inside Ten's eyes. Johnny has never allowed himself to try to go after them.)

The tip of Johnny's nose follows lightly along the curve of Ten’s jaw and he kisses the silky hollow under his ear and chases the invisible path along the side of Ten’s neck and down his clavicle. Ten cries out and Johnny feels his cock twitch against his stomach. Johnny pulls out and pushes in slowly, one, two, three times. On the fourth time, Ten lets out a small hiccup and his hand squeezes Johnny’s painfully. The fifth time Johnny pushes in he’s already very close to coming and he can feel Ten is too. Ten’s back arches and his walls contract around Johnny, bordering on painful, and both of them hold their breath for the length of a heartbeat and they come together. Streaks of white cover both of their chests while Johnny’s release fills the condom and he blacks out for a second or two and lets his weight rest on top of Ten. 

When Johnny comes to his senses, Ten is still shaving slightly, breathing heavily against his temple. Johnny raises his head to look at Ten, taking in the skin glistening with sweat, the matted dark hair, eyes made of stardust. Ten disentangles their fingers and caresses Johnny’s face with light touches and brings their lips together, kissing him slowly and thoroughly, then he embraces Johnny’s neck with his arms, bringing their bodies closer together, ignoring the mess between them.

“That was nice”, Ten says when they part. Johnny pulls out and rests his head on Ten’s shoulder, who then starts running his fingers through Johnny’s hair. 

“Just nice?”

“Well, for two exhausted people... If every muscle of my body wasn’t so sore, I would go for another round.” Ten is quiet for a moment before speaking again. “I thought I wouldn’t see you for another three days. You didn’t tell me you were coming back earlier”, he pinches Johnny’s back lightly.

“The weather held up so we were ahead of schedule and we managed to finish everything earlier than we expected. I took the first plane back and the rest of the crew is coming back tomorrow.” Johnny lowers his voice to a stage whisper. “I think the universe was conspiring so that I wouldn’t lose your opening night. ”

“Thank you”, he utters, lowly, “You being there meant a lot to me”

Johnny raises his head, resting his chin on Ten’s chest to look at him. Ten stares back, and Johnny’s not sure what Ten can see in his eyes. People usually say the eyes are windows to the soul, so if Ten is looking right back at him with his star kissed eyes, can he see Johnny’s soul? Can he see all the years of pent up feelings? Can he see the devotion? The yearning? Johnny thinks he can’t hide those, even if he wanted to. It is only one of the reasons he’s so hesitant to bring up whatever they have, whatever they have been doing since that day. He only hopes his voice doesn’t break when he replies, “I wouldn’t miss it.”

Johnny thinks Ten’s breath hitches, but he can’t be sure as he’s distracted by Ten’s own eyes, hypnotized, and there was nothing but them in the world. Johnny felt like that sometimes, as if nothing else mattered but the two of them.

Ten looks away first, averting his eyes to somewhere above them. He carefully pushes Johnny’s body away and sits, he turns his back to Johnny to throw his legs over the edge of the bed. Johnny suddenly has the feeling he said something wrong. Ten stands up slowly, one hand on his lower back, and Johnny sees the way his palm presses on the muscle. Johnny reaches out and holds Ten’s wrist, and Ten looks back at him with hopeful eyes. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Ten’s shoulders sag, and he gives Johnny a small smile, a little tight around the edges, much unlike the other smiles he gave tonight. “No, I’m fine. Just a bit sore from all the practicing and… the dicking.” Johnny furrows his eyebrows, worried. Ten rolls his eyes and reaches for Johnny’s face, pressing his lips to Johnny’s. “Don’t worry. A couple of painkillers, a good night’s sleep and I’ll be good as new. But now I need a shower.” Ten turns to go to the in-room bathroom and disappears from Johnny’s view. 

Johnny sighs, raising his hands to his face, remembering the dirty one the last minute so he lets them drop against the sheets. As he dips further on the bed, fighting the exhaustion from the trip and lack of sleep settling over his body, he remembers.

✻✻✻✻

**March, 2017**

Johnny shivers as he waits for the door to the gallery to open. The exhibition won’t start for, at least, another couple of hours, but he likes to be early. They had many places to show their pieces for the exhibition, ranging from Itaewon to Gangnam, but his boss decided for a gallery just off-center from Hongdae, a couple of blocks from the station. The room was on the lower part of a three-story building, the bottom of the building getting a lot of natural light during the afternoon, which was one of the reasons the organizer chose the place. Even though the final decision wasn’t Johnny’s, he had given a lot of input about the locations as well. He wanted a place closer to the station or the studio, but those were way too expensive even for their combined budget.

It is cold for late March and, once more, Johnny wishes he had worn something warmer. He texted the owner of the building on his way to the gallery hoping the man would be at the entrance when Johnny arrived, but he wasn’t. Johnny thinks briefly if he should just pop over to one of the dozens of Ediya Coffee shops around and grab an americano. A series of beeps cut his train of thought and he raises his eyes to see a middle-aged man coming down the set of stairs. Johnny smiles at the grumbling man and waves. “Hello, Mr. Kim”

“You’re early. You, young people, don’t know how to read time? The other one is also early…”

‘The other one?’, Johnny muses, as he approaches the gate, grateful for the warmth. 

“Is the boss already here?”, he asks as he enters and follows the old man down a set of stairs and a corridor, stopping in front of double glass doors, one of them open. The man doesn’t answer and just points to where he can see Junmyeon, fiddling with a frame. Johnny bows and walks in, while the old man leaves grumbling. He approaches his boss quietly.

“Hey, boss.”

“Hello, Youngho.”

“I remember asking you to call me Johnny.”

“And I remember asking you to call me hyung”, Junmyeon takes a step back and tilts his head, frowns, and reaches for the frame one more time. Johnny cannot help himself and reaches for Junmyeon’s wrist to stop him from messing with the frame any further. 

“It’s good already…” Johnny pauses and gingerly releases Junmyeon’s wrist. “Hyung.”

Junmyeon gives him a brilliant smile and steps away from the frame on the wall. He looks so organized and put together that Johnny has a hard time matching the man to the mess that is his home. His dark hair is parted in the middle and he's wearing black fitted slacks with a light-colored sweater. On top of everything is a very warm-looking brown coat. (Johnny has been there once when Junmyeon forgot something and Johnny offered to go with him. He left with the impression that someone dumped every single load of laundry in the living room, added some empty instant ramen cups, and called it a day. Johnny hasn’t been back since.)

“Now we’re talking”, Junmyeon laughs. “You’re early… did something happen?”

“Not really. I just wanted to check if everything is ready for the exhibition. I know we haven’t changed anything since yesterday, but I wanted to be sure”, Johnny hesitates. “I want everything to go smoothly.”

Junmyeon nods and puts his hands on his coat pockets. “Is someone special coming? To see your photos?”

Johnny thinks about the focus point of one of his hanging pieces. It’s black and white, a beacon of brightness coming from the round skylight was the only source of direct light in the shot. There was a body, a silhouette in contrast with the light from outside the big, framed windows. The person was on the tip of their toes, reaching for the light above, the tip of their fingers grazing the sunlight. It was artistic and it also looked posed, but Johnny knew it was spontaneous. Johnny thinks the subject in the picture didn’t know Johnny had captured them, alone in the shot, but he couldn’t be sure. The subject’s face is covered by its raised arm, but Johnny doesn’t need to see their face to remember what they look like. Either way, he longs to see him again. But all Johnny gives Junmyeon is a wry smile.

“I don’t think so.”

Junmyeon hums and nods, letting go of the subject. Johnny silently thanks him and turns when he hears a beep and a tall, brown-haired man opens the glass doors. Behind him is a woman Johnny knows well. She was always one of his main inspirations and supporters, and he has always thought she could follow the professional path because she has a great eye for photography, but she still prefers staying behind the scenes, mentoring young amateur photographers. Today she, like most of them (except for Johnny) is wearing a long coat, paired with fashionable boots, and her long hair trails behind her. Yoona approaches them with a proud smile. Johnny smiles back because he can't help it, and holds her hand when she gives her own. 

"Hello, boys."

"Hi, noona", Johnny answers. 

The taller man accompanying her passes by Johnny giving him a pat on the back and goes to stand beside Junmyeon, putting a hand around Junmyeon's waist and pulling him closer. Johnny rolls his eyes, used to their antics, but turns to Sehun and punches his arm lightly. 

"Hey, punk. I'm here too", but Sehun ignores him in favor of hugging Junmyeon and kissing his cheek. 

Yoona laughs and Johnny can say he missed it very much. He hasn't seen her in over a year, and they kept contact with only messages and occasional video chats. When she announced she was going to spend some time in the U.S doing god knows what, Johnny thought he wouldn't miss her too much, but he was very wrong. It's very good to see her again.

"He was always like this", she sighs, looking fondly at the other pair, talking too quietly for them to hear. "Whenever Junmyeon is around, he forgets about everyone and everything. I thought it would get better after they started living together."

"I mean, I’m not too surprised. Sehun used to chase Junmyeon-hyung around the university campus. It was kind of cute, honestly." He thinks back to when he was in university with Sehun. Both Sehun and Junmyeon were his seniors, but Sehun is the younger of the two and his roommate. Johnny vividly remembers sleepless nights, silent tears after a fight, and a quite public love confession. Good times.

"And how are you?", Yoona's voice asks, pulling him out of his own head.

"I'm good, noona. Thanks. And you? I didn't expect to see you so early. I thought you were going to stay longer in the U.S."

"Tiffany wanted to come back to see the cherry blossoms. I also missed my parents and the girls a lot, so...", she trails off and Johnny hums in understanding.

"How long are you staying?"

"I don't know yet. A while probably. I missed Korea a lot”, she confesses, which made Johnny nod.

Their conversation is cut short when Junmyeon laughs, and it echoes around the half-empty room, but pushes Sehun away and waves to Yoona. Sehun still hasn't let go of him and Junmyeon tells him something Johnny can't hear. Sehun's reply is equally low, but he lets go of the other man. Junmyeon rights his slightly askew coat and walks the short distance to them. There's a light blush in his cheeks and nose, but he's smiling, so Johnny thinks everything is fine.

"Hello, Yoona. Thank you for coming, but... You're early", his voice is warm while greeting his long-time friend.

"Sehun's fault." the person in question, pouts but doesn't say anything. "I planned on coming later, but he called me saying I should get going and that I shouldn't miss Johnny first exhibition and Gangnam was too far from Hongdae-"

"Noona, please. That's not what happened" Sehun complains. "I only told you that it had been a while since you saw Junmyeon-hyung and Youngho. And I suggested that we could come early and have coffee together", he finishes with a pout.

Johnny laughs and pats Sehun's back. "Thank you for coming too, Sehun."

"I couldn’t miss it. Junmyeon-hyung also said that if I didn't come he wouldn't let me touch his di-", Junmyeon quickly covers Sehun's mouth, stopping the rest of the sentence, but Johnny has a pretty good idea of what he was going to say. Junmyeon laughs awkwardly and Johnny sees the blush creeping up from under his turtleneck to cover his face. 

"Don't mind him. He thinks he's funny. Haha."

Johnny fakes a cough to cover up his laugh and Yoona hides her giggles with her fist. Junmyeon cleans his throat loudly while Sehun rolls his eyes.

"Let's have a look around, guys", Junmyeon says, taking his hand off Sehun's and briskly walking towards the beginning of the exhibition, to put as much space as possible between him and his boyfriend. Johnny has to cover up another laugh when Sehun shows his tongue to Junmyeon's back and Yoona only shakes her head, but they all follow behind his boss.

By the time Junmyeon is halfway through explaining the thought process behind the choice of the first hanging piece, Johnny has already tuned them out. He chose part of the photographs with Junmyeon and knows them so well he could explain it backwards. Johnny only follows behind his friends, his thoughts far away. More specifically that not so far December night, a party, and a kiss under fireworks. 

"And this one is the one our Johnny took", Junmyeon's voice brings Johnny to the present moment. His boss is gesturing to the hanging black and white photo. The contrast with the colorful ones surrounding it, even further back into the room, calls attention to it. "He didn't want me to put it here but he didn't want to tell me why."

A light blush creeps up Johnny's neck and tinges his cheeks pink. Junmyeon thinks he looks adorable. Johnny stammers before coming up with something, anything. "It wasn't like that, hyung. I just thought..." _this could stay somewhere where no one but me would see it_ , he thinks selfishly. 

"It is a really good piece, very..." Sehun makes a huge gesture, placing the frame between his open arms. "... metaphorical."

"Are you watching pretentious movies again?" Johnny inquiries.

"I am, but the ambiance just.. begs for pretentiousness."

“Thank you”, Johnny laughs and shakes his head. He looks back at the hanging frame and the words leave his mouth before he can process them fully. "It's kind of personal. I wasn't expecting to come out the way it did. If I knew it was going to be this, I would’ve told them. He wasn't really paying attention when I took it, because it was part of one of my class assignments. And it was to record the process for the dance crew."

"Who is it?", a voice asks. Johnny is too lost in his memories to tell who the voice belongs to.

"I don’t think you’ve met them. Even if you did, I don't think you could say you know them", _I know them, but at the same time, I don’t. And I doubt anyone fully does_ ;. That is the last thought on Johnny’s mind, and after that, he busies himself with preparations. 

✻✻✻✻

The whispered conversations roam loudly over the ambient music in a way Johnny didn't expect. Even though it is the last day, the amount of people who are in attendance is bigger than the two previous days. Johnny thinks it has more to do with his boss’ name rather than the name of the studio attached to it. He roams the room for a while, getting called into conversations every so often, but halfway into the event, he already feels drained. 

Johnny has already discarded his sweater because of the stuffy room and is holding a conversation about lenses and cameras close to the buffet table when he sees him. Johnny takes a double take because his brain can't process the fact that _he_ is _here_. 

_Uh-oh... Why is he here? What is he doing here?,_ Johnny's thoughts are buzzing as his eyes follow the figure. Except for his hair, he doesn’t look much different from the last time Johnny saw him. His hair is slightly shorter, dyed a deep red, which Johnny thinks fits him well. It looks like he has more piercings in his ears, but Johnny is too far to tell for sure. The other man looks around, and Johnny has to fight the sudden impulse to hide behind something. Johnny’s increasingly racing heart drowns the sound of his own thoughts as he waits for the other man to spot him.

Before his eyes can even reach Johnny, someone calls him and his head turns the other way. Johnny releases his breath in relief and shifts, giving his back to the other man, realizing the person he was talking to decided to look for another company. Johnny takes a deep breath, puts a hand on his waist and rakes another through his hair, and wonders briefly if he has time to take his photo down before _he_ sees it. Or maybe, he reasons, that wasn't _him_ at all, just someone really similar. It was too fast to see the person properly anyway, Johnny tries to convince himself, but deep down, he suspects it was really _him_. He hopes it's not but still wants to take down the picture. Just to be sure. 

"Hey, Youngho?" Johnny looks up to see Junmyeon approaching, followed by an older man. "Have you met Mr. Park?"

Johnny offers his hand and smiles, fighting the urge to cross his arms in front of his chest, trying to contain his speeding heart overpowered by the sound of his echoing heartbeat, eyes racing around the room, looking for the shorter man. Junmyeon hands him a drink from a passing waiter and he holds it between trembling, cold fingers. He really wants to down it in one go, but Junmyeon's worried glance stops him. Johnny loses track of time, nodding to the inane conversation with both men, something about sponsorship and modeling.

An audible sigh leaves Johnny's lips when Junmyeon changes their focus to the exposed pieces on the walls, Junmyeon taking Mr. Park to the farthest wall, showing him the first frame, explaining it with big gestures. Johnny's desire for alcohol went down to a manageable level, so he leaves the untouched glass on a nearby table and walks fast to the end of the room. He hasn't caught sight of _him_ yet, and fruitlessly hopes that _he_ hasn't seen the photo, but knows that the longer the photo is up, greater is the chance _he_ sees it. 

His strides are larger than the average, but even so, Johnny walks shy of running towards the back of the room. When he sees there's no cluster of people around his photograph, he exhales in relief and takes his time catching his breath. His eyes find his shot naturally and he approaches it slowly. He knows he has spent hours looking at it, on the camera, on his computer, and the printed image. Johnny is proud of it, yes, but he also feels like an intruder, gazing into someone's personal universe. He lifts his hand without realizing and his fingers are almost touching the frame when a voice makes him stop, a chill running down his spine.

"I don't remember posing for that picture."

"It wasn’t posed", Johnny doesn't turn, and his hand falls. His voice is shaky as he replies. "It was... spontaneous."

 _He_ hums, and Johnny watches him from the corner of his eyes as he approaches. He watches as the man raises his hand and touches his own image on the shot, fingers featherlight, but still leaving prints on the glass. "I remember this day. I always wondered what you were doing at the rehearsal", he laughs. The sound makes Johnny's skin tingle. "With a camera nonetheless." he pauses."It's beautiful."

"Ten", the name leaves Johnny lips in a small breath, half wonder, half worry and he finally turns to look at _him_.

"Hello, Johnny", Ten's smile is fascinating. "Should I start demanding royalties for this picture?"

Ten. _Ten_. Ten is here.

Johnny looks at him as if Ten's earlier appearance was a figment of his imagination. There are many things he wants to say, but one question comes out before he can fully process it. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard there was a picture of me being shown in a gallery."

It’s hard for Johnny to believe Ten would come all the way here only to check on rumors of his picture being part of an exhibition. "That can't be the only reason you're here."

"It could be", Ten sounds amused and Johnny wishes he had somewhere to hide.

"Chasing rumors now?"

"It's not a rumor if it's true", Ten states, pointing at the frame with his chin. 

Johnny racks his brain for an excuse. "You can't see the subject's face. How do you even know it's you? It could be someone else."

Ten's smile turns wicked and he approaches the wall, pointing to the small plaque glued next to the picture frame. 

**Johnny Seo (서영호)**

_One Hundred out of Ten, 45,7x60 cm_

**2016**

KOMJS Studio Print

"You definitely could have been more discreet. And no need to go all photography nerd on me. I thought we were closer, Johnny."

A blush creeps from under Johnny's button-down, up to his neck and cheeks but he still tries to deflect Ten's on point assumption. He clears his throat and crosses his arms, keeping his eyes on the picture. "You still can't tell it's you from that. It could mean literally anything."

"But it doesn't mean anything does it?", Ten looks at him expectantly, but when Johnny doesn't answer, he shrugs. "Besides, Sehun-hyung told me it was me."

At those words, Johnny inhales sharply, turning his entire body to Ten. Closer up, Tenis something so out of Johnny’s scope he’s sure only half of his brain is working. "How do you know Sehun-hyung?"

"He comes by the studio where I work once in a while. He also knows Jongin-hyung and Baekhyun-hyung."

If Sehun knows, it means only one person could have told him and that was Junmyeon himself. He curses his boss silently and chooses his next words carefully, weighing the lie before he voices it. "I didn't tell anyone the name of the person in the picture".

Ten's laugh is crystalline, like wind bells, and his eyes can’t hide his mirth when Johnny peeks at him. "Why are you so fixated on denying it is me? Are you afraid that I don't like it?"

Fear is not the word Johnny would use to describe what he is feeling. Dread is more like it. Ever since he saw Ten for the first time, he would gravitate towards him. They weren't friends, per se, but they always had the same social circle and overlapping friends. He thought he would get over his puppy crush, as some of his friends would call it, after graduation and he was doing fine until the New Year’s party. Johnny sometimes dreams with Ten’s lips pressing on his, a whispered Happy New Year and cold hands. After one of those dreams, he pushed himself out of the bed and dug through his old memory cards, did the stupid thing, which was taking them to work and use his work computer to treat the photos during his lunch break, and Junmyeon ended up seeing the pictures over his shoulder and here they were. 

The knot in his throat is hard to swallow, but Johnny manages with some effort. He scratches the back of his neck shaking fingers, “Do you?”

“Do I what?”

Johnny is pretty sure Ten is mocking him, but elaborates anyway, “Do you like it? The photograph?”

Ten’s reaction to his words is not one he expects. Instead of turning triumphant, (Johnny waits for the brag that should come along with his admission, but it never comes), the other man’s smile softens around the edges, and he looks at the picture with an emotion Johnny can’t read.

“It’s beautiful. How could I not like it?”, he tilts his head to the side, as if he was seeing something only he could see, “This one is better than the pics they took at the recital. I’m actually very flattered.”, he pauses, and sighs, “I remember you saying you only took pictures of things that make you feel something, so this makes me wonder… what kind of things I make you feel.”

Even though it was not phrased like one, the question is there, in the air, in Ten’s body language, in the way he looks at Johnny expectantly. If this was any other question, Johnny likes to believe would answer it without embarrassing himself too much. But, the question being the one it is, even after all this time, Johnny’s reply would reveal way too much, more than he would ever want. 

“Hum… I think, maybe-” his evasion is, thankfully, cut short by an excited tone calling his name and Ten’s. Johnny turns to see a happy Sehun waving wildly and dragging a grumbling Junmyeon behind him. Johnny can tell he had one too many drinks. 

“Ten! You made it! Did you like your picture?”, from the corner of his eyes Johnny sees Ten bow slightly, a gracious and polite smile on his face. “Youngho! I told Ten you guys put his picture up here!”

Resisting the murderous urge to put his friend in a headlock in the middle of the event, he walks to meet Sehun and hopefully drag him somewhere else. Hopefully, there's an empty room around and Johnny can lock him there until the exhibition is over and then let him out to help with the cleaning. “I’m aware”, he grits through his teeth. 

“Oh, so you’re Ten! Sehun and Jongin talk about you a lot. I also heard you’re the person in Youngho’s picture.”

“You heard it because I told you”, Johnny grumbles under his breath, and Ten sends him a look while Junmyeon bows and offers his hand which Ten is quick to shake. 

“He didn’t tell me you were coming.”, Junmyeon continues, giving Johnny a significant look. Johnny ignores him.

“Ah, yes. Actually, it was Sehun-hyung who told me to come. From what I gathered, he didn’t know it was me in the picture before the exhibition. I would have come on the other days, but I was too busy.”

“Yes, I did! But only after Ju- humph”, Junmyeon stuffs Sehun's mouth with an appetizer, but that only confirms Johnny’s previous suspicion.

“Ah…” Junmyeon casts a look that is both guilty and apologetic and that, paired with his raised eyebrows, creates a rather comic effect. If Johnny wasn’t so anxious, he would laugh at his boss'. “I see. Well, I hope you enjoyed the exhibition either way. We worked really hard on it.”

“I really liked it!” Ten’s smile gets wider and Johnny feels like there’s a hand slowly crushing his lungs. “Though it is strange to see me so big. I feel like I’m close to being in an ad in Dongdaemun or something. It makes me feel a little shy.”

“You shouldn’t! We can’t see your face anyway”, Sehun points out.

“But I know it’s me…” 

“Either way,” Junmyeon interrupts, “I am glad you liked the pieces. And…”, he pauses, a thought crossing his mind, “Would you like to join us for some drinks after the exhibition?”

Before Johnny can voice his protests, Ten agrees with that bright smile of his and Johnny swears he’s going to punch Sehun in the face (if Minseok and Junmyeon don’t stop him) before the night ends. The man itself is happily chatting with Ten and when he leads Ten away by the arm, he doesn't know if he should feel relieved or annoyed. 

“He looks like a great guy. Why didn’t you want him to come?”

That was too much of a trick question for Johnny to answer truthfully, so he works around half a truth. “It’s not that I didn’t want him to come. It’s a long story."

Junmyeon hums in agreement, but lets go of the subject. "If you want, whenever you need to... share that story, or feel like you need advice, you can talk to me. I have a lot of experience in the relationship department."

"... Right”, Johnny is a little skeptical about that statement, because Junmyeon was incredibly dense when it came to Sehun. “Anyway, there's no relationship here". 

"There is something though. I can understand if you're not ready to talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about", that makes Junmyeon smile, amused at Johnny's adamant denial. Johnny feels his neck warming up.

"So you won't mind if he joins us for drinks, right?" his boss's face is pleasant and Johnny feels like he walked right into that one. 

"Right". 

Well, fuck.

✻✻✻✻

The dim lights of the bar don’t make for a rowdy atmosphere, but they somehow manage. Surprisingly Yoona is one of the loudest voices in their group and it got louder when her friends arrived. All and all, by the end of it, Johnny is pleasantly buzzy and proud of himself for being able to avoid looking at Ten for too long. He still looked, of course, but he tried to keep his glances down to two every hour instead of once every fifteen seconds. Not that it mattered because Johnny could see his acquaintances looking at him and then at Ten with questioning looks, which Johnny thoroughly ignored.

It is colder outside than it had been earlier and Johnny shivers inside his sweater, crowding closer to his friends to get some warmth. Johnny is listening to them with only half an ear, something about where to go for the second round, while the other is trying to catch a whisper of Ten’s voice. He knows he is definitely not following his colleagues to a second round, but he wants to check on Ten one last time before he goes home.

A voice like wind bells catches the edges of Johnny’s attention, and he turns to find Ten laughing at something someone said in their little cluster of people, a couple of steps away. Although he feels left aside, he’s also kind of glad that Ten can get along with anyone, unlike him. He gives himself five more seconds of looking, his heart speeding the longer he looks, stilting and going double time when Ten looks back at him and smiles. Johnny smiles back, swallowing the lump in his throat and waving. He changes the focus to his friends, bids them goodbye, waves to those further away, and starts making his way to the subway station.

Johnny is almost turning around the corner some fifty steps away when the wind bells come back, closer than before. “Johnny! Found ya”, Ten’s hair bounces as he jogs to reach Johnny, who is standing there, thrown off. “Are you leaving already?”, his question comes out somewhat breathy and it does something to Johnny’s insides.

“I have to work tomorrow morning”, Johnny replies.

“I thought your boss gave everyone the day off. And tomorrow is Saturday”.

“It’s a freelance gig, a wedding.”, he adds, “What about you?”

Ten looks at him strangely, expectantly, “I’m free tomorrow.”

Johnny laughs. “I mean, are you already leaving too? I thought you were joining the other guys for a second round. But if you’re going to the station, we can go together.”

“I would like that. But… can go stop somewhere first?”, he turns slightly back to point at the street behind him. “One of my friends lives nearby and I need to get something from his apartment because I’m already in the area.”

The request itself is not strange, but Johnny feels there’s one more meaning behind Ten’s words. But Johnny only shrugs and agrees, following Ten into the night.

✻✻✻✻

The two or three block walk was relatively fast, in Johnny’s opinion, and when they stopped, he wished it had been a little longer, even if he felt his fingers could fall off. The six stories high building was similar to many others around the city, including Johnny’s own apartment building, surrounded by too many convenience stores and university students. It was far enough from the main street to not be too noisy but close enough to be convenient. 

Johnny watches Ten punch code to the entrance door from a distance, which Ten doesn’t notice until he looks around. Ten beckons him over, but Johnny shakes his head, “I’ll wait here”.

“You should come inside for a bit. It’s really cold”, he pauses, “I can find something warmer for you to wear, too.”

Johnny shivers in the cold wind, and the agreement almost leaves his lips, when Ten, who got closer without Johnny noticing, grabs his hand and brings it close to his lips, blowing softly, “Your hands are really cold”.

The gesture is small, something a friend would do for another, but it sends Johnny’s heart into overdrive and he’s surprised it hasn’t jumped out of his chest. Johnny feels sparks running from his hand and making their way all over his body. He rips his hand from Ten’s hold as if he was burning. Ten looks at him, eyes wide with hurt and surprise. 

“Sorry”, he laughs awkwardly, and clears his throat scratching his nape and looking away, “it was really great to see you today, but I really have to get-go”.

“You know”, Ten interrupts, and when Johnny’s eyes find him again, he’s wearing such a pleasant expression that Johnny is sure he's doing it on purpose. The sweetness in his voice is sharp, like shards of glass. “This apartment is mine too.”

“I’m not... following”, Johnny blinks in confusion.

“I was hoping, well...”, Ten cuts in, “This is embarrassing. I hoped you would come upstairs with me. To... eat ramen.”

By the second time that night, Johnny feels like he got a punch to the stomach. He only stares at Ten, dumbfounded, as his heart picks up a notch. 

“But I guess,” Ten continues, and even though his confidence, Johnny can see the insecurity in the way he scratches the back of his neck, “you’re not that hungry. I must have misread the signs”, he shrugs, turns and starts walking to the building. He raises his hand in a wave. “See you around, Johnny”.

His legs start moving before Johnny can fully realize what he’s doing and he follows Ten to the lobby and touches the other man’s elbow. When Ten turns, Johnny holds his face in his hands, eyes traveling down to Ten’s lips. Ten doesn’t try to leave his hold, but Johnny can feel his throat moving, swallowing a knot of anxiety. The air around them changes, charged with tension as Johnny inches his face closer to Ten’s. Ten’s own hands close in Johnny’s shirt and he raises to the tip of his toes, eyes on Johnny’s mouth.

Neither of them can tell who moves first, but when their mouths do touch, Johnny feels like something has fundamentally changed. As if his world shifted its axis. Something they cannot go back from. 

“You didn’t misread”, Johnny says when they part, his eyes still closed.

“Good”, Ten whispers back, “don't think you’re leaving after this”, he pecks Johnny’s upper lip, “I’ll drive you to wherever you have to go tomorrow.”

"I didn't know you could drive… or had a car", Johnny's lips kiss the corner of Ten's mouth, and he drags the kiss down Ten's neck and bites down on his clavicle. Ten gasps. 

"It's my housemate's car. But I drive it sometimes", he tugs on the hair on Johnny's nape, pulling him into another breathtaking kiss, deep and sloppy. "We can leave the catching up for later."

"You started it."

"Just shut up and kiss me", Johnny is happy to oblige and goes to the point of pressing Ten up against the nearest wall, pushing the layers of clothing aside until he can touch Ten's skin without any barriers.

"Fuck!", Ten pants, goosebumps rising where Johnny touches Ten's skin. "Your hand is freezing!"

"Sorry", he laughs, his other hand going up Ten's back. Ten shrieks, and pushes him lightly, which only makes laugh harder.

"You're an idiot", Ten laughs fondly.

Johnny only kisses him harder and they only part long enough for Johnny to follow Ten deeper into the building. He manages to keep his hands off Ten in the ride up, but soon enough Ten’s hand is pulling him, and Johnny eagerly follows. 

By the time they enter Ten’s apartment, any thought of ramen leaves Johnny’s mind the moment Ten takes off his shirt. The stretch of pale skin is too tempting and Johnny is fast to toe-off his shoes and reaches for Ten, cold hands in warm skin. Ten trembles under his touch and his breath is warm on Johnny’s lips before they share one more kiss.

They part and Ten pulls Johnny by the hem of his sweater, leading them through the dark apartment until they get to his bed, Johnny’s sweater and shirt are forgotten somewhere close to the bedroom door. Ten sits on the edge of the bed and beckons Johnny over, hooking his fingers in Johnny belt loops and looks up at him through his bangs. Johnny feels his blood running down to his dick so fast he feels dizzy. 

Ten mouths at his hip bone, kisses the space just below Johnny’s navel, and unbuttons his jeans. Johnny is already breathing heavily, goosebumps rising on his skin when Ten’s hands caress his lower back and sides, pushing his jeans off. Johnny’s cock is well on its way into hard, the tip leaking and leaving a dark stain in his briefs. Ten looks at it with barely concealed desire but stops before taking it out. “Can I?”

Johnny nods and waits in anticipation for Ten to take his cock out. The first touch is electrifying and Johnny knees almost give out. Ten mouths his length, licking lightly at the veins and sucking at the tender skin close to his balls, avoiding the head entirely. Johnny moans and throws his head back when Ten finally licks a strip from the base to the tip and licks and kisses the head of his cock, making it shine with his spit. His moans get deeper when Ten takes the swollen, red tip in his mouth and holds it there, sucking on it lightly, tonguing at the slit, while his hand engulfs the rest of Johnny’s length and strokes it.

Johnny’s moans echoes and he looks down to see his dick disappear between Ten’s lips and he can feel himself spurt into Ten's warm mouth. He makes an effort not to thrust, closing his fists by his side, trying to subside his own desire. Ten, however, finds his closed fists and, letting go of Johnny’s cock, guides them to his hair, giving him wordless permission to touch. Johnny is quick to push Ten’s bangs out of his eyes, murmuring, “You’re so pretty”.

Ten gets a devilish glint in his eyes and hollows his cheeks, taking Johnny’s deeper into his mouth. Johnny feels his dick touch the back of Ten’s throat and he almost doubles over, his eyes closing and hand tightening in Ten’s hair. It’s hard to breathe and he can feel his orgasm edging closer to the surface, ready to spill over. Ten holds him there for a couple more seconds and pulls back until only the head is on his mouth and tongues at it, his spit mixing with Johnny’s bitter precum. Ten releases his dick with a pop, looking satisfied with himself, a string of spit connecting Johnny’s cock with his swollen lips. Johnny thinks it’s one of the sexiest things he’s ever seen and his dick agrees, spurting more beads of precum.

In his daze, Johnny doesn’t realize there are hands on his ass pulling him forward until he trips on the edge of the bed and falls. He manages to avoid crushing Ten but falls heavily beside him. Ten crawls on top of him on all fours, until they are eye to eye, and lowers his face, stopping just before their lips touch. “Can I kiss you?”, he whispers, his mouth brushing Johnny’s.

For Johnny, the only answer is to smash their lips together, his tongue chasing Ten’s and tasting himself in Ten’s mouth. Johnny lets his hands roam and touch Ten’s body, a caress on the side, a flicker on his hardened nipple, while his mouth kisses a path on Ten’s cheek and neck and down his clavicle, where he starts sucking a bruise. He notices Ten’s hand leaving his hair and going down, and sees Ten’s own hard cock still trapped in his pants. Johnny’s focus changes, as he watches Ten hand swiftly unbuttons his jeans and pushes down his underwear and his cock jumps out, flushed, leaking steadily. Like the rest of Ten, it is smaller than Johnny’s but compact and slightly thicker. Johnny’s mouth waters with the want to taste it. He watches, hypnotized, as Ten’s hand slowly closes around his cock and slides, from base to tip, his thumb spreading sticky pre-come around his slit. 

Pressure in his hair pulls Johnny’s head back and he meets Ten’s eyes. “Enjoying the show?”, Ten asks.

“Yeah”, Johnny swallows and Ten’s eyes follow the movement. “Very entertaining. Mind if I join?”. He doesn’t wait for Ten’s reply and takes his cock in his hand. It’s not that heavy, but it’s smooth and so hot Johnny wonders why it hasn’t burned through his hand. When he moves his hand, sliding his palm and closing his fingers around Ten’s cock, Ten starts moving his hips, thrusting into the tight space of Johnny’s hand and sighs into his ear, the sound sending a tingle down his spine and Johnny wants... more. “Can I blow you?”

His voice fades into the silence of the room as Ten stops, and his eyes search Johnny’s face, finding whatever he was looking for because he only nods and helps while Johnny removes his pants and underwear. When Ten is about to lie down next to him, Johnny stops him. “Do you have lube? I want to try something if you’re okay with it.”

“What?”, Ten’s voice is shaky.

“I want to blow and finger you”, Ten moans at Johnny’s words. “But from a different position. Can I do that?”

Ten nods enthusiastically and drapes his body over Johnny’s to reach for the bedside table. That puts his chest right on Johnny’s line of vision and he can stop himself from latching his mouth to the perky nipple, sucking and licking. Ten gasps and stops moving, and Johnny takes the chance to put his hands on Ten’s body, over his ribs and his stomach, cup his dick and massage his testicles, go around the waist to fondle his asscheeks. Shaky hands pull Johnny’s head up and a warm mouth closes over his. “Can you stop for five seconds so I get what you asked?”, Ten smiles against his lips.

Johnny sucks Ten’s bottom lip into his mouth and worries at it with his teeth before replying, “Yeah, sorry. Hard to keep my hands to myself right now.”

Ten pushes Johnny’s bangs back and holds to his chin, giving him several pecks and smiles, “Five seconds.”

It takes more than five seconds for Ten to find the lube and condoms but Johnny doesn't mind, and when Ten asks him ‘how do you want me?’, he has to focus on the present moment instead of the several kinky scenarios that pop up in his head when Ten utters those words. He shakes his head and takes off the rest of his clothes, shivering, but soon warming up when Ten gets closer again. The other man tosses the contents of his hand on the bed and turns one last time to turn on the lamp on the bedside table. “So?”

Johnny smiles and lies down on the bed, arranging the pillows under his head and shoulders. He guides Ten until he’s kneeling over him, with Johnny’s torso between his knees. “Okay… I guess I get what you’re trying to do, but don’t hurt yourself, cowboy.”

“I’ll be fine”, Johnny says and busies himself with lowering Ten’s cock so he can fit his mouth around it. He sucks on the sensitive tip, flattening his tongue on the underside, and Ten’s cock bursts with precum. 

It’s not the most comfortable position he’s ever been in, but it gives him such a nice angle of Ten, flushed and sweaty on top of him does something to him that Johnny cannot explain. When Ten rakes his hand through his hair, pushing the silky strands back and panting, his mouth slightly open, Johnny itches for his camera, as he doesn’t trust his memory for the details.

His mouth is still full of dick when Johnny runs up Ten’s thighs, and around his waist and down, to cup Ten’s plush buttcheeks and squeeze them. Ten gasps, rising slightly to his knees and his cock goes deeper into Johnny’s mouth. Johnny spreads Ten buttocks and inches his finger closer to Ten’s hole, his middle finger caressing the puckered skin. Ten shivers uncontrollably, and falls forward, careful not to choke Johnny (Johnny wouldn’t mind dying choked by Ten’s cock, in all honesty), and holds onto the headboard. 

The only sound in the room is Ten’s moans and gasps and Johnny keeps cataloging each one, remembering which things cause Ten’s breath to hitch, which makes him tremble and which makes him squirm. After a rather enthusiastic suck, Ten threads his fingers through Johnny’s hair, holding him in place and moving his hips lightly, fuking shallowly into his mouth. Ten’s cock goes too far, touching the edge of his throat and Johnny really believes he is going to die choking on Ten’s dick and thinks there are worse ways to go. But Ten is quick to release him and pull out of his mouth at the first choking sound coming out of Johnny.

“Let's try to not overdo it today, okay? You have to work tomorrow”, Ten says gently, smoothing his hands over Johnny’s sweat matted strands. 

“Okay”, it’s Johnny breathy reply. 

With Ten still sitting on top of him, Johnny reaches for the lube, coats his fingers, and reaches for Ten’s entrance. He circles his lubed finger around the rim, rubbing at the sensitive skin until it gives in and he slips his finger in. Ten shudders when Johnny massages his insides, pushing his finger in and pulling it out slowly, curling it while looking for his prostate.

Johnny is considering adding another finger when a slimmer, smoother finger slides next to his. 

“What are you doing?”, Johnny asks, raising his eyes to look at Ten’s face. 

“Helping you”, he says, and his finger in, right next to Johnny’s. Ten moans loud at the sensation and Johnny follows him closely with his own. Ten’s cock bobs up and down when Ten starts fucking himself on the fingers in his ass, precum bubbling at the tip and glides down the length of his dick, falling onto Johnny’s chest. Not that he minded all that much. 

They are able to find a comfortable rhythm while they work together to open Ten up and by the time Ten whispers “It’s good enough”. There’s a squelch when both of them take their fingers out, Ten’s other hand pressing hard on Johnny’s shoulder as he trembles with the stimulation. Johnny wishes he had more time to open Ten up himself, pushing him to and over the edge with only his fingers. He decides to savor the present moment, however, because one like this he might not have again.

“How do you want to do this?”, he asks, instead, caressing Ten’s skin with his clean hand. Ten assesses their position and moves to lie down on the bed next to Johnny, and Johnny takes the hint to move and ends up kneeling between Ten’s legs. He pushes forward and hovers over Ten, his arms supporting his weight while he lowers his body to reach Ten’s mouth. He kisses him deeply, licking into his mouth with fervor, biting his lower lip. Ten arms find their way around Johnny’s neck while he kisses back, bringing them closer together.

The kiss goes on for a while and Johnny is the one to pull back and Ten whines. Johnny laughs helplessly. He only shakes his head and sits back on his ankles and looks for the condom, putting it on gingerly, avoiding touching his dick too much. Before Johnny guides the tip of his cock to Ten’s entrance, he spreads some more lube around the rim and teases the skin around it, massaging the skin just above it. Ten hand flies to the base of his cock, while he keens, his back rising from the mattress. “Please, Johnny”, he says between gasps,” just fuck me. I feel like I’m going to explode.”

“Okay, okay”, are the only words Johnny manages to say, feeling like sitting on the edge of a cliff, unsure if he should let himself fall. The hand on his cock touches Ten’s hole and he pushes in, slowly. Johnny’s sweating with the effort of entering Ten at a steady pace, letting him get used to his size.

“What the fuck, you’re big”, the words come from between gritted teeth, as Ten looks down past his cock to where Johnny’s is steadily breaching him. He throws his head back, arching off the bed and insides contacting when Johnny bottoms out. He’s panting, eyes closed, focused on the sensation of Ten’s walls pressing around him. He’s burning and feels about to burst at the first thrust.

Johnny takes a deep breath and drapes himself over Ten, laying his face on Ten’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, and inhaling his scent. It’s citrusy and fresh under the sweat, and Johnny presses his lips to the smooth skin but stops when pressure on his scalp makes him raise his head to look at Ten. “You’re really enjoying pulling my hair today, huh? Do you have a hair-pulling kink?”

Ten smiles at him placidly, “Haha. You’re not that far off. Now move”.

“I will if you ask nicely.”

“Please move?”, he asks, batting his eyelashes. Johnny smiles but that is soon followed by their moans when Johnny pulls out and pushes back in slowly. Ten is warm and unbelievably hot around him and the moment he meets Johnny’s push, he finds himself breathless, pushing in harder and deeper, and Ten is meeting his every thrust. At some point, Johnny angles his dick just right and Ten wails and Johnny makes sure to hit only that one spot. 

They find a steady rhythm, the sound of their breaths and whispers filling the room along with the sound of skin slapping against skin, the smooth slide of Johnny’s cock inside Ten, their sloppy kisses, hands finding and closing on one another. All of that, Johnny saves in mind, in a place he can visit often because he doesn’t know when he will have it again.

Johnny increases his pace and while he does it, he can see and feel Ten trembling under him, eyes glazed and mouth open, hair matted with sweat. Johnny lowers his head and fixes his mouth on the sensitive space below Ten’s chin, kisses the side of his neck, and sucks a bruise on the junction between his neck and shoulder, and Ten’s arm fixes itself around his neck. Ten noses the skin of his temple and Johnny turns. Their eyes meet, and they hold it for Johnny doesn’t know how long, creating a quiet moment between them. Ten’s eyes are more focused now, and Johnny cannot even think to decipher them, too many things hidden in the depths of his brown irises. One thing he can read, however, is the desire when Ten’s eyes drop to his lips. Johnny closes the space between them and sucks Ten’s lower lip into his mouth, worrying with his tongue before deepening the kiss.

Ten starts shivering at his next thrust, his breath coming out in short bursts and one of his hands going down to grasp at his cock. Johnny follows Ten’s and pushes the other man’s hand aside, he murmurs ‘let me’ and fits his hand around Ten’s cock for the second time that night. He tries to match the rhythm of his strokes with his thrusts, feeling Ten flutter around him. Ten’s arm goes around his chest, holding Johnny close, and Ten’s mouth finds a space on his shoulder and clavicle to suck and bite.

Having Ten’s mouth on him, being inside him, is an inebriating sensation and Johnny feels his pleasure reach levels it has never been before, brimming on the edge of too much. His chest hurts with the effort of holding back everything wants to say and ask, so he focuses on bringing Ten to his climax.

Ten’s cock is sticky with precum and makes the slide way smoother. Johnny thumbs the slit and the sensitive underside of the head and Ten spills over his hand tree strokes later, with a sigh rather than a moan. His insides flutter and close around Johnny, and he rides the end of Ten’s orgasm to reach his own. He moves his hips faster and Ten meets him, risking the chance of overstimulation. He’s on the verge of his climax, feeling hot from the tip of his toes to his scalp, and when he comes it’s with Ten’s name on his lips and Ten’s lips on his. Shivers run through his body and his head is full of white noise while he comes down from his high. 

He raises his head, that he didn't realize it had fallen beside Ten’s and meets Ten’s eyes. They’re clear and shining with their own light, much like stars, and Johnny doesn’t dare to try to read them. Instead, his mouth finds Ten’s, in an unhurried kiss, languid and slow, their tongues meeting halfway, taking turns in exploring each other’s mouths.

The kiss ends when they can no longer breathe, and Johnny avoids Ten’s eyes and Ten lets him. Johnny pulls out and leaves the bed and heads to the bathroom, just outside Ten’s door, on unsteady legs, taking solace in those minutes alone. He cleans himself quickly with a warm towel and prepares another for Ten but stops by the mirror, wondering what he is going to see if he turns. He promptly decides he’s not ready to face whatever is in his eyes and leaves the bathroom.

When he raises his eyes, he finds Ten sitting on the bed, arms around himself, looking at the window, thoughts far away. Much like Johnny, it seems like he could use some time to recollect himself after what they shared, but he is quick to notice Johnny from the corner of his eyes and turns, smiling. Johnny smiles back and walks back to the bed, thinking if he should just hand Ten the towel or clean Ten himself, but in the end, Ten makes the decision for him, extending his hand. Johnny sits back on the bed and hands him the cloth, in silence. 

“Thank you”, Ten cleans himself quickly and rises to head to the bathroom, murmuring, “I’ll be right back.” 

Johnny can’t stop his gaze from following Ten’s naked form when he walks, the muscles on his back, the curve of his lower back, the flare of his hips, and the light bounce of his ass. He pinches himself, forces his eyes away, and sighs. There are way too many thoughts in his head for Johnny to have any sort of coherent idea of what his feelings are. The only thing he can make out is confusion and a warm sort of happiness blooming in his chest, along with growing anxiety. He wants to know if Ten feels the same and at the same time, he fears that what they just had was an only time thing. 

It all melts away when Ten shows up again, a small smile on his lips. He goes straight to bed, stark naked, so Johnny hopelessly shadows him, getting under the warm duvet that they didn’t bother to take out of the bed while fucking, but he decides not to worry about it because Ten, well, doesn’t look concerned either.

Ten, the ever-surprising, cuddles close when Johnny settles, wrapping his arm around Johnny’s waist and resting his head on Johnny’s chest. Johnny is taken off guard, but gingerly puts his arms around Ten’s shoulders and holds him against his chest. Once again their breathing is the only sound in the room and Johnny is asleep before he realizes.

✻✻✻✻

Morning finds Johnny already awake, trailing warm fingers along the ridges of Ten's naked spine, who is sound asleep, using Johnny's chest as a pillow. He had thought sleeping was going to be difficult, with his thoughts too loud in his head and his heart too heavy in his chest, but it wasn't. The sound of his alarm startles him, and he reaches his arm to turn it off, just to find that his phone is not on the bedside table. He doesn't want to try to get up and wake Ten, but there is also the risk of Ten waking up with the alarm.

Johnny, carefully and silently he removes himself from under Ten, who mumbles but doesn't wake up. He quickly searches for his pants and lets out a relieved sigh when he finds his phone and turns it off. Johnny looks at Ten briefly before putting his underwear and pants on, and starts looking around for his shirt, silently and wishing Ten wouldn’t wake up so he can leave quietly. In the early hours of the morning, he thought long and hard whether he would still be there in the morning, despite Ten’s offers. He looks around the room for his shirt and, not finding it, turns towards the bedroom door until Ten's voice stops him. 

"I think your shirt might be outside. I took it off before we came into the bedroom."

Johnny turns around, his phone in his hand. Though he's only half-dressed, he feels like he's the one naked. His heart is beating so loud and so fast in his ears that he wonders if Ten can hear it. Ten is sitting, arms around his stomach and shoulders hunched, sheets pooled around his hips and hair messy. Johnny can see the bruises he left on Ten's pale skin, dark against light. His face is a mask Johnny cannot read and he thinks he has never seen anything so beautiful. 

“You're leaving?”

"How long have you been awake?"

"You were going to leave, just like that?"

“Did my alarm wake you up?”

Johnny can tell by the way Ten eyes become slits that he didn't like the way Johnny avoided his question. 

"No, you sneaking around woke me up", Ten replies after some time of uncomfortable silence. “Well, were you going to leave?”

“No.”

“Please…”, Ten closes his eyes and lets out a tired sigh, “don’t lie to me.”

“Look, Ten…”, Johnny closes the distance between him and the bed and sits down. He turns his phone in his hands, trying to make sense of the confusing whirling thoughts in his head. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure if you meant what you said last night and I’m… I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me in the morning. Sometimes we do things we regret.”

The lines around Ten’s eyes soften and he lets out a deep breath. “Johnny, do you regret sleeping with me?”

“No! Of course not”, Johnny wasn’t sure of a lot of things he was feeling at the moment, but regret was definitely not one of those.

“I also don’t regret sleeping with you. So don’t try to sneak out again”, Ten reaches across the space separating them and holds Johnny’s hand. “I know I wasn’t that clear at first, but I meant everything I said yesterday. I… almost couldn’t believe when Sehun-hyung said you were having an exhibition. I-”, he stops himself, and Johnny wonders what he is holding back, “- never mind. Take a shower, I’ll make breakfast.”

Ten gets out of the bed while Johnny watches, grabs a shirt and a pair of underwear, and puts them on quickly, hiding his body from view, a contrast from the day before. He makes for the door but stops and turns his head to Johnny, “There are some towels in the cabinet, and you can use my stuff, they’re the ones on the left side of the shelf.”

Ten is out the door before Johnny can say anything else so only sighs and looks for his shirt. The bathroom is occupied, as he can see the light coming from under the door, but before he can knock, the door opens to reveal a man, shorter than Johnny and with the kind of face you would see in a magazine. Big eyes under a mop of light brown hair, sharp jaw, dancer frame. While taking all of that in, Johnny slowly realizes that the person must be Ten’s housemate and he knew him. 

“Taeyong?”

A flash of recognition passes through the other man’s eyes and he smiles.

“Youngho? Youngho!”, Taeyong raises his hand to touch Johnny’s hand, a friendly gesture from when they were younger, “What are you doing here?”

Johnny is not really sure how to answer that, but he doesn’t need to, because right then Ten shows up, still wearing only the shirt, long enough to cover the top of his thighs, Johnny notices, leaving very little to the imagination. Taeyong’s eyes move between them, and Johnny can see when everything clicks.

“Oh”, he exclaims. “Oooooh…”

“Johnny, shower”, Ten’s voice is slightly impatient and he points to the bathroom with the chopsticks.

“Okay, okay”, he says, walking around Taeyong to the bathroom, closing the door behind himself. 

“So…”, Taeyong’s faint voice floats through the door and Johnny strain his ears to hear, “you and Youngho?”

"Shut up", somehow Ten sounded embarrassed, which makes Johnny smile. "Can I use your car today?"

"Sure, I'll just stay home anyways. I think Doyoung might come over later."

"For what? So you can annoy him into having sex with you?"

"Yeah, right, He doesn't need me to annoy him into being horny-", by then Johnny decides to stop listening and takes off his clothes, opens the glass door, and hops into the shower. He is quick to wash with the coconut body wash and finds towels where Ten said they would be. He's not sure if he should keep last night clothes, or ask for Ten's, or even if he should wait until he gets home to get fresh clothes when the door opens.

"Are you don-", the words die in Ten's lips, and his eyes widen taking Johnny in. His damp hair falls over his eyes, and Johnny can see Ten's eyes following a drop of water down his naked chest and his Adam's apple moving. Johnny hides his smile with his fist.

"Ten?", he asks innocently.

Ten blinks before opening his mouth, but nothing comes out. He cleans his throat and covers his mouth with his hands and looks away, a lovely blush covering his cheeks and nose. "Breakfast is ready. You can go eat. I'm going to shower and then we can leave".

“I’ll be right out, thanks”.

“Here”, Ten hands him a bundle he was holding, “This might fit you, for now. I have the habit of buying clothes that are way bigger than me, so…”

“Thank you”, the fabric is soft in his hands and he sees that there is more than one piece of clothing. A long sleeve black shirt, along with a grey hoodie, both big enough to fit his frame, and warm sweatpants that end a couple of inches above his ankles. Johnny finishes dressing quickly and pads to where he assumes the kitchen is and finds a spread of food waiting for him, one he eats quickly, and when he’s done, he waits for Ten, texting Junmyeon to confirm where the equipment is. 

Junmyeon is taking his time to reply, so Johnny uses this interval to look around the apartment. It is not that different from his own, except for the extra bedroom and a bigger living room. The room he can see is really tidy, with no leftover cups, mugs, or clothes thrown around. The soft morning light creeps into the flat, showing light colors, a comfortable looking couch, a low table, and lots of plants.

He’s glad he can give a good look now as he doesn’t know if he will be able to see it again. Last night was something Johnny never thought he could ever have, let alone have it more than once. Although knowing it would be rude to leave, even with Ten’s words ringing in his ears while getting dressed, he chose to spare himself the eventual embarrassment of having Ten asking him to leave. Johnny was deadly wrong apparently, but still, why would Ten ask him to stay after all? Johnny was just one extra person with a crush on Ten, just another body on the line to get some of Ten’s time and attention. Johnny would have appreciated the chance to take him out instead of jumping straight to the one night stand, but beggars can’t be choosers and he wouldn’t trade the night for anything. They met each other briefly in university, but before that New Year’s party, he believed Ten never paid much attention to him. 

Johnny remembers being fascinated when Jaehyun introduced them. It was one of the many multi-department get-togethers, and, though he didn't really want to go, peer pressure was a hell of a thing. 

Thinking back, Johnny feels sort of grateful for his friends' pestering, because, in the end, he had met Ten. In the beginning, Johnny was feeling slightly intimidated by Ten. Johnny had seen him before, of course. The university dance department was not shy about promoting their most talented students, setting up showcases and presentations on several school festivals. It was impossible to be a member of the student's body and not know who Ten was. Sometimes the audiovisual department and dance department had overlapping schedules, coming together to take pictures of the performances or record the practices and, on those occasions, Johnny’s eyes would find Ten more often than he would like to admit.

That day, when they met for the first time, Ten was shining. Johnny could not remember the color of his hair among all of the colored lights, but whatever it was, it suited him like a glove, and he looked happy and relaxed. Johnny thought it was the first time seeing him like that. A dark-colored long-sleeved shirt and white jeans completed the simple look, but somehow it made him stand out even more.

Johnny remembers Ten smiling at him, trying to include him in the conversation every once in a while. He remembers Ten checking one of the people in the get-together who had too much to drink. He remembers Ten gravitating back and forth between several different groups, each time looking like he was always there in the first place. By the end of the night, Johnny was dead tired and completely charmed. 

His phone vibrates, bringing him to the present, and he opens the notification of his boss's message. 

Kim Junmyeon 

07:27

did you look at the time?

why are you messaging me?

07:28

did you read it or did you just message to complain?

I was asking about the equipment

and

clothes

07:30

yeah yeah get them whatever

some of sehun clothes are at the studio

check if they fit you

07:31

thanks, thanks

07:31

don't contact me before noon on weekends

you know you’re not supposed to do that

now minseok is going to have my ass

07:32

doesn’t he have that already?

07:32

…..

you’re fired

Johnny is still laughing at his boss' antics (he has to agree it is really early, especially for a Saturday morning) when Ten shows up, having just left the bathroom. He gives Johnny a tight smile and points to his bedroom, "I'm going to dry my hair and we can go".

Ten turns around before Johnny can say anything and walks away. From where Johnny is sitting, he can see Ten's shoulders shaking and his hands twisting the towel between his fingers. Before he can think it through, Johnny rises and follows Ten into the bedroom, very much like a repeat of the night before. 

When he comes into the room, Ten is already sitting by his desk, untangling the hair dryer cord. Johnny closes the door behind him and sits on the bed, facing away from Ten, who hasn't acknowledged him yet but also hasn't kicked him out. Johnny takes a deep breath.

"Look, Ten-"

The sound of the blow drier drowns the rest of Johnny's words so he waits. And waits. Two minutes pass and Johnny decides to take a chance. He leaves the bed and walks to Ten's chair, taking the blow drier from the other man's hands gently and directing it to Ten's hair. Something he's too scared to name grows inside his chest, his heart pumps it through his veins until it reaches the tip of his fingers, which are touching Ten's silky strands. He doesn't dare to raise his eyes to meet Ten's in the mirror, so, keeping his face down, Johnny turns the blown driver off and puts it away, sighing. 

“I'm sorry”, he says, at last. Ten doesn't say anything but Johnny can see some of the tension leaving his body. Johnny’s hesitant hands meet Ten’s shoulders and his thumbs start caressing the other man’s nape.

“I thought it would be easier for both of us if I left.”

“Why would you think that?”

“That’s the experience I have with one night stands”, Johnny shrugs.

He is still looking down, so misses the curious and worried Ten gives him through the mirror. Ten raises his hand and puts them over Johnny’s in a comforting gesture.

“I don’t want you to assume anything like that about me”, Ten looks up and waits until Johnny meets his eyes, and Johnny can feel his heart soaring in his ears. Ten eyes are clear, shining with honesty, “I meant everything I said last night. And I know it looks kind of… of out nowhere, but I really li- I’m attracted to you and I would like to have more… of whatever this is.”

This could be referring to anything that happened between yesterday and this exact moment, but regardless, Johnny’s heart feels both heavier and lighter (if that’s even possible) and he nods. He senses something root deep in his chest and doesn't stop himself from sliding his free hand to cup Ten’s neck and chin, holding him in place and leaning down, kissing him. It’s somehow similar and different from last night’s kiss. At first, Johnny is not sure if Ten’s going to kiss him back, but when Ten sighs into his mouth, opening up for him, he suddenly wants more. He pushes his tongue into Ten’s mouth, deepening the kiss, at the same time Ten pushes his fingers through Johnny’s hair, holding his head down. The kiss is slow and sensual, unhurried, but not really leading up to anything. When they eventually break, Johnny doesn’t know for how long they kissed, it could be thirty seconds or thirty minutes. Ten is panting, a pretty blush covering his cheeks while his eyes are glazed over, lips shiny with their spit.

“We’ll be late if you keep doing that face”, Johnny utters, voice low and eyes dark.

Ten’s smile in reply is incandescent. It lights Johnny up from inside out.

✻✻✻✻

**November, 2019**

The sound of the shower stops, breaking Johnny out from his dazed state and he forces himself to sit, a dull ache echoing through his body. He rolls his shoulders and stretches his arms over his head for a couple of seconds, and lets them fall heavily beside him, sighing. He looks at the bathroom door, waiting for Ten to show up. Johnny thinks back to the other man’s reaction, feeling lost. It’s not unusual for Ten to react in a certain way to Johnny’s words like they were not what he was expecting, but this time is different. Johnny can feel it’s different, even though he cannot tell what is different. Similar to when you come home after a while and realizes someone changed the color of the curtains and nothing else. Something subtle and yet so jarring, it feels like your world has been thrown off its axis.

He doesn’t remember exactly when he fell in love with Ten. In the beginning, back when they were in college, the attraction was there, but Johnny didn’t have the time or courage to do something about it. Somewhere between college and their fateful meeting at that New Year’s party, and the long hours they spent together after Johnny’s exhibition, that infatuation blossomed into love. He is good at reading people and he wouldn’t overestimate his abilities, especially when it comes to Ten, but he likes to think that he became able to read some of the hints behind his eyes, his expressions, his silence. Just like Ten learned how to read his. And still…

Still...

Maybe he’s overthinking, Johnny muses. Ten missed him, he said it himself and Johnny can be satisfied with that. He is, in a way. But that look in Ten’s eyes, half relieved, half disappointed, a look that made Johnny’s heart thrum in his ribcage with anxiety, that is new. Maybe Ten didn’t even realize he had that look in the first place, or maybe he did and hoped Johnny wouldn’t figure out what it meant. Johnny is not fully sure if whatever he saw in Ten’s eyes is what he thinks it is. Regardless of the meaning, Johnny is positive he doesn’t want to see it again. 

Sighing for what he hopes is the last time for the evening, Johnny prepares for the shower, getting a towel and a change of his own clothes. Johnny tried not to read too much into it when Ten emptied two of his drawers to make room for Johnny’s belongings, but he couldn't stop that warm, sticky feeling in his chest.

Ten finally comes out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam, toweling his hair dry vigorously. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t have washed your hair. It’s pretty late”, Johnny voices his thoughts.

“It’s barely ten. And you can blow dry for me later, can’t you?”, Ten ends it by blowing him a kiss. 

Johnny can only smile fondly and agrees. “Of course.”

“C’mon. Go shower. Are you hungry?”

Johnny rubs his stomach. “A little. You know I don't like airplane food.”

“Yeah, I know”, Ten’s voice says from outside the bedroom. “So, it's your first meal? Should we get something light then?”

“I would kill for some fried chicken, to be honest. But I’ll save that for tomorrow. Something with a lot of broth? And not too spicy.”

“Rice porridge?”

“Sounds good to me!”

Johnny takes a quick shower, using most of the things he keeps in Ten’s house, like his favorite body wash and skin routine products. When he leaves the bathroom, Ten is lying on the couch, scrolling through his phone while the television is on a rerun of a kpop survival show. Johnny smiles and goes to the kitchen, pouring himself and Ten a glass of water. He rummages through Ten’s fridge, looking for something nibble on while they wait for the food. He finds an assortment of fruits and decides to grab an apple, which he slices and takes with him to the living room.

“Last I knew you hated fruits”, he says, sitting down next to Ten, placing the plate with fruit and the glasses on the low table. “I think I saw more than one type of fruit in your fridge.”

Ten moves so he can drape his back on Johnny's chest, not taking his eyes off the phone. “They're for you.”

“Really?”, Johnny is taken off guard by Ten’s words, and he can't help but press his cheek against Ten’s hair. He’ll have to blow dry it soon. “Thank you”.

“You're welcome.”

They stay silent, the television too low to be more than white nose. Johnny is happy to stay like this, not feeling the need to fill the silence between them. It took them a while to be comfortable enough to do that. Johnny is dozing off when the doorbell rings and Ten gets up to get the food.

Ten sets the food on the table and sits on the floor, opening the packages and spreading the food around. He gets up to get side dishes and refill their glasses.

“You were amazing tonight”, he starts, waiting to talk about the presentation, “I mean, you’re always amazing”, Johnny states when Ten returns, but Ten snorts, “but today specially… magnificent.”

Ten laughs but blushes under the praise. “What was your favorite part?”, he asks.

“Besides the sex?”, Ten laughs again and punches him on the arm mumbling 'I'm serious’. “I think… Your dance with Sicheng. That was something…”, he trails off.

Johnny thinks back to the performance. He never thought someone’s body could move like that, but it was Ten, so he should have expected it. There were grace and control and there was Ten. Johnny cannot think of words that would do Ten justice. He tries anyway.

“I have never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life”, he starts, and Ten puffs. “I’m serious!”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have started with the most cliche thing ever! It’s not a college essay!”

“Are you trying to edit my compliment?!”

Ten, looking suspiciously red in the face, pushes his shoulder hard enough for him to lose balance and almost topple over, “Just… whatever. Go on.”

“It was... delicate and graceful,” Johnny tries again, “but also like... super powerful. I know you and Sicheng have different dancing styles, but I personally think it added to the performance. You guys were like two halves of a whole, black and white… kind of complementing each other. It was very beautiful and kind of sad. A little bittersweet? Amazingly beautiful.”

“Lots of superlatives there”, Ten laughs. “But thank you. Sicheng and I choreographed it together.”

“I remember you mentioning it. I knew it would be great.”

“Well, thank you”, Ten smiles up at him and pushes his shoulder against Johnny’s. Johnny feels warmth spread all the way to the tip of his fingers.

The rest of the night is uneventful as they catch up with three weeks of not seeing each other in person ( _“face chat and messages don’t count, Johnny, duh”_ , Ten always says) and, as he lies down beside Ten, he feels as he is finally _home_ after an unholy long day. That is, until Ten turns his back to him and starts scrolling his phone and, at the same time, he wiggles his ass dangerously close to Johnny’s crotch. 

“Ten, seriously, stop.”

“I’m not doing anything, I’m just trying to get comfortable.”

Johnny huffs, “Right”.

Ten wiggles a little bit more which makes Johnny put a warm and heavy hand on his hip. Ten pretends not to notice, still scrolling and typing on his phone, but Johnny hears the hitch in his breath anyway. Johnny trails his fingers up, raising Ten’s shirt along with shivers all over Ten’s skin. He counts Ten’s ribs, ghosts his fingers over his clavicle and down again, and switches over to only one finger to trail down Ten’s navel to the waistband of his pants. Ten is still acting unaffected, but Johnny can see his cock hardening over his shoulder and hides his laugh on Ten’s nape.

Breathing heavily, Ten trembles under Johnny's lips and hands, his phone forgotten in favor of Johnny’s attention on his body. He makes a lovely sound when Johnny kisses the hollow behind his jaw and Johnny wants to hear more of it. Ten lets out a groan when Johnny touches his cock over his clothes, a sound that makes Johnny harden in his shorts.

“How’s that for not doing anything?”, he teases.

“B+ for initiative”, Ten gasps, “A+ for execution”.

“What about an A+ orgasm?”

Ten looks at Johnny over his shoulder, cheeks flushed and mouth slightly open, “You have a deal”, and smashes their mouths together.

Johnny pulls his other arm from under his head and snakes it around Ten’s middle, pulling him closer, his hand resting over Ten’s moving chest. He feels it expand and contract, faster and faster, as he fondles Ten’s cock. Johnny moans, surprised, into Ten’s mouth as Ten’s hand finds his hardness and strokes it through two layers of clothing. Getting impatient, Ten uses his other hand to push down his sleep pants and sighs into Johnny’s mouth when he finally touches Ten’s hard naked cock.

By then they’re mostly breathing into each other’s mouths instead of kissing, so Ten breaks away and focuses on the movement of his hand on Johnny’s dick, pulling it out of his pants. Johnny groans and closes his eyes., pressing his forehead to Ten’s nape. 

“Now, that’s unfair”.

“You have my hand on your dick”, Ten huffs, “how’s that unfair?”

Johnny doesn’t answer and only focuses his attention on Ten’s cock, spreading the precum around the head and length, and jerks Ten off slowly, almost lazily, enjoying the shivers running down Ten’s spine as he arches his back. 

“Unfairly sexy?”, Johnny muses, speeding his pace, so much that Ten’s hand slacks around Johnny dick only to close around Johnny’s forearm, looking for grounding. Johnny misses Ten’s touch on his dick, but it’s fine, as long as he can give Ten this.

Ten’s answer to his musings is a breathy laugh to which Johnny gives a laugh of his own. He teases the skin of Ten’s nape with his mouth, biting and sucking, not hard enough to leave a mark, but enough to make Ten squirm. He must still be sensitive from earlier because it doesn’t take long for him to spill over Johnny’s fingers with a muted moan. Ten goes lax in Johnny’s arms, burying his face in the pillows and sighing.

“That was nice.”

“Glad you enjoyed yourself”, he answers, tucking Ten’s softening cock back inside his pants with his clean hand.

“It’s hard not to when you’re around”, Ten replies sleepily. He turns around to face Johnny, and cuddles closer to him. “I would help you down there if I could move. I feel like melted marshmallow.”

“Don’t worry. It’s not the first time I sleep like this.”

“Hm.. it isn’t?”, he says without any intent, a sleepy sigh leaving his lips.

Johnny doesn’t answer and just smiles slightly, watching as Ten falls asleep, and keeps waiting until his breathing slows down and eyelashes stop fluttering to disentangle himself from Ten. He washes his hands quickly and goes back to the bed, turning off the lights on the way. Johnny carefully takes the comforter from under Ten and slips into bed, covering both of them. Ten must not be asleep yet, because as soon as Johnny settles down, he drapes himself half over Johnny’s torso, but his eyes are still closed. He mumbles which makes Johnny huff yet another laugh and caress Ten’s soft hair. Ten doesn’t wake up and Johnny takes the chance to bury his face in Ten’s hair (it smells fresh and bright, like citrus) and whispers, too low to anyone but him to listen.

“I love you. Sleep well.”

✻✻✻✻

The next morning, when Johnny wakes up at half-past nine, he’s alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! You can find me on twitter @junmyeonderful


End file.
